No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
