i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
