it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize