Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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