3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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