No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
