i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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