I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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