Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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