there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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