$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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