You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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