no, he came in my armpit
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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