Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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