i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
