Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
