If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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