It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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