My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize