ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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