It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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