Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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