just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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