He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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