Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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