I bet he comes in French.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
