He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
