just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
