Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
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At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
how drunk are you?
Several
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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