Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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