Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
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If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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