drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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