i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
