this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
