what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize