come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize