Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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