can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
