Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
