i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
