We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize