Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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