I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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