he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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