physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
