$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
