once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
