Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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