I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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