If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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