I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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