so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
