Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
wakey wakey hands off snakey
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
