I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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