Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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