He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
