can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
