ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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