Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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