His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Did I show you my penis last night?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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