You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
