so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
