So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
