Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
