Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
